04 - un petit note

April 27th, 2026

I would say how is this possible… but that would be being very naive :)

Apparently Uranus is exiting Taurus after 8 years of being in our sign, and now my life is supposed to settle ! Supposedly Uranus brings a lot of change and shaking up and forces to continuously change… so would be nice to settle for a bit

I’m back home

Back in jamaica.

Back living in my childhood bedroom.

And honestly,

Enjoying it.

Enjoying the time I am getting to spend with my parents, with my friends, with the rest of my family…

Seeing old faces and meeting some new-

Enjoying the feeling of comfort,

Of safety.

The type of comfort and safety that can’t really be recreated, for the lucky ones. 

And I am a lucky one- I still have my parents, they both live in the same house, have the same crazy tendencies, and they love me. I am so, extremely lucky. 

Without the distractions of a bustling big city life, grappling with the ideas of should I stay or should I go - I come back to the question,

“what is this life really all about?”

“what do I want to chase, pour my energy into?”

“what is ego and what is intuition?” and how do I learn to seperate them?

Have you ever heard the story about the fisherman and the businessman? I have tried to find where it unoriginated but it seems many cultures and authors take claim.

It goes like this:

A businessman meets a fisherman who spends only a few hours each day catching enough fish to support his family before spending the rest of his time with his wife, children, and friends.

The businessman tells him he should work buy a bigger boat, so he can catch more fish, become wealthy, and eventually retire.

Then, he says, the fisherman could wake up, fish for a few hours, come home to spend time with his family, take an afternoon nap, and enjoy evenings with friends.

The fisherman simply replies, "Isn't that what I'm doing now?"

…..and then.. I have no answers ; )

There is a fire inside me that wants to climb, accomplish, push, grow - but I do not know how to wield it in a way that satifies goals of independence, moral alignment, personal growth..

I think this helps me to maintain a feeling of paralysis - decision paralysis- rather than just trying..

My contract ends the end of September - so by then I’ll have no choice but to change.

Love always,
Sof